Charm School

This past week, one of my sisters reminded me of a really funny episode we all shared while growing up together during the 60’s. It was a time when a lot was changing and most families, mine included, worked hard to keep the ideals and values they had been raised with relevant for the next generation.

During that time in our history, I probably would have been one of those kids out protesting for change and advocating for a world at peace. If I had been old enough, I would have hitchhiked across the US to join others at a large field in Woodstock, Connecticut. (You have to remember I was just a kid and didn’t really understand everything that was going on at that famous music festival!)

I think my folks did a really good job of teaching all three of us girls the values and morals that were always a part of being raised in a Christian home. And I know my sisters and I are all grateful for the foundation they laid for us both spiritually and emotionally. They also taught us that, as Christians, we are different from those who aren’t. We believe differently, we behave differently and we treat others like Jesus would treat them.

Outwardly, they taught us how to sit quietly on the front row at church, respond politely when spoken to by our elders and how to stay relatively clean when out to dinner at restaurants. For the most part, we were really good kids, and I know it’s because my folks worked hard to make sure we stayed out of trouble and that we knew right from wrong.

As the first born, I felt it was my responsibility to be the first one to get into trouble. Well, I don’t think that was an actual conscious thought, but it sure did feel like I was the guinea pig for the boundaries of what we could and couldn’t get away with as children. I was the one who taught my parents if they didn’t lock the door, a child may wander away. I was the one who reminded them that children shouldn’t be allowed to make donuts at home without an adult present because grease is hot. And I was the child who locked up her friends in the small playhouse in her backyard preaching at them and refusing to let them go home until they came forward to the alter and prayed the salvation prayer. Not exactly the way Jesus would have done it, for sure!

I would often ask for the keys to the family Buick so I could get the engine running so it would be warm when the family all get in after church. Of course, that soon lead to me not being afraid to back it out of the parking space and move it closer to the door, which soon lead to driving it a few laps around the parking lot. Of course that came to an end when one of my parent’s friends came running inside the church asking them if they knew I was driving the family car around the church parking lot with the children of most of the church leaders in the car with me?! Yeah, I got in trouble for that one, but I digress from the story…

The local department store in our city was sponsoring something new called Charm School. And for whatever reason, my mother signed me up for classes. I really can’t for the life of me remember how I got signed up for charm school other than it was a big thing during the 60’s. But I would imagine I heard about it somehow and begged my parents to let me participate. I always loved the idea of trying something new and different.

I suppose my entry into charm school may also have had something to do with the fact that I had a very active imagination and was never afraid to try new things. They may have wanted to channel that energy to be used for good and not for evil!

Charm school was an odd but fun way for me to spend my Saturdays. The things I remember from it were the lessons on how to sit and then stand in a lady-like manner, knees together without any grunting or pushing yourself out of the chair. I remember walking across a conference room balancing a book on top of my head. No, really! We really and truly did that, just like in the movies! I did pretty good, if I do say so myself. Although to this day I have yet to figure out how best to put that particular skill to use!

I learned how to shake hands properly and I’m still good at that. A firm, but not to tight grasp of the other person’s hand, making sure the web between your thumb and pointer finger connect and then one simple shake. None of this shaking the other person’s arm off with two hands like I need their arm more than they do. We learned to walk a runway, how to do a smooth turn at the end of it and we even learned how to gracefully remove a jacket while walking that same runway.

But here is the strangest part of the training, the part that my baby sister brought to mind; we learned how to stand like a mannequin. Yep, you read that right. They dressed us in cool outfits they were selling in the girl’s department and then made us stand like one of the many real mannequins throughout the store. My younger sisters felt it was their role to do everything they could to make me break character and move and/or laugh.

I’m not really sure what life skill can be tied to knowing how to stand very still like a mannequin in a department store for 20 minutes without moving a muscle. I guess I could have been one of those street performers you see in Las Vegas or downtown Hollywood that are painted silver and pretend to be statues and then come to life, terrifying the poor tourists standing nearby taking selfies.

But as I dug a little deeper into what I may have learned from that strange lesson I got to thinking, there have been times when I’ve been made fun of or bullied or verbally attacked when the art of just standing perfectly still has been an asset. When someone is berating you and you don’t fight back, it takes a little of the wind out of their sails. How many times have I sat perfectly still as a boss railed at me after some project went south. By being still and not engaging, the yelling soon stopped and apologies were given and accepted.

I imagine my lesson of staying still while the world around me whirls and spirals out of control can be connected to the foundation my parents provided for me as a believer in the God who controls the universe.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.      – Psalms 37:7

Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”     – Exodus 14:13-14

Charm school may be a thing of the past, but it was yet another experience God used to remind me that I am His; I am unique, and I am created in His image to be His light to a world that is lost and spiraling and needs to be taught how to be still and know that He is God.