The Most Important Things in Life

“The most important things in life….aren’t things!” I have this sign hung on the wall in my home next to some photos of my grand babies. Its a constant reminder of the things I’ve chosen as important in my life – my family.

My family, as loud and crazy as it can get, is the source of all my joy. They give me a reason to get up everyday. When I was young, my sisters and I were surrounded by parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles and a whole cluster of friends of my folks that were like second parents to us. My mom would throw these amazing parties, sometimes including a theme and costumes, and I could hardly contain myself waiting to be old enough to join in the fun.

We had annual vacations together. We laughed and, because we’re a musical family, we sang together. We had adventures, got dirty, stubbed toes and stayed out playing under the street lights in our neighborhood during the summer. We did life together.

Once I had children of my own, I would spend hours holding them and staring into those sweet innocent faces. I was in awe of these tiny creatures that were equal parts peace and mystery. I learned to sleep lighter, in case they needed me in the middle of the night. I did chores and wallpapered while they napped so I wouldn’t miss out on spending awake time with them.

As they grew, there were soccer and football games to attend. There were band concerts and parties and trips to Disneyland. Soon there were girlfriends and proms and then graduations and weddings. With each new season, I found something new to appreciate and enjoy with my boys and their growing families.

And then came the grand babies! Oh the amazing, beautiful, sweet smelling grand babies! I remember my mom saying once, when I was a young mother, if she had known grand babies were so wonderful she would have had them first. I never understood that, even felt a little offended by the statement. But the moment I held my very first granddaughter, even through the wires and gadgets attached to her because she was so tiny, I understood what my mother meant.

Having a grand child is like opening a present that is a sequel to your very favorite movie. I can look into every sleeping grand baby face and see my boys all over again. Hearing them laugh and start to talk makes me do a double take because the sound is so familiar. Even the crying brings back memories. But here’s the best secret about being grandma: when they cry, it’s easier to calm them down because you have a different role. And if being snuggled by older, more seasoned arms doesn’t work, you get to hand them back to mom and dad!

As I think about my growing up and then my boys growing up, I can’t help but think about all the history and legacy that is a part of being family. We may look alike at times – my boys and their children all have the same crinkly, disappearing eyes smile that my mom and I have – but we are all so different. We have different perspectives and have experienced different things that make us who we are.

But the thread that connects us all for our entire lives is not what we have or don’t have. It’s not where we live or the toys we’ve collected over the years. Its not even the way we sound alike or act alike.

The thing that connects us is love. Love for each other, even when someone messes up. Love when things are going well and when they are a little less than perfect. Love isn’t a thing, to be looked at and then wrapped up in a box with a pretty bow. Its being down in the trenches together. Its experiencing life together.

I’m so thankful God has blessed me with the family he decided would be just perfect for me to be a part of. We aren’t perfect, but we are loved, by each other and by the Creator of Love himself. And that kind of love isn’t a thing…..it’s who we are!

The most important things in life, aren’t things.

– Anthony J. D’Angelo