There is a Christmas movie that is one of my all time favorites. It’s called “It’s A Wonderful Life” and I watch it multiple times throughout the holiday season. For whatever reason, even though it’s February, I was thinking about the story line and wondered what would happen if we all had the chance to see what life would be like if we hadn’t been born?
Because I understand there are so many ripple effects that happen during our lifetime, I can’t quite get my head around this concept; there are way too many connections that I’d have to sort through. How would my parents and grandparents lives be different? Would the city I live in be different because I wasn’t there? Because of that movie, I understand that there are things that go beyond just my little life that would be impacted – for better or for worse – had I not been born.
But there is another mind game I do play every once in a while. I’m not sure if I’m alone in this, but have you ever wondered what life would look like if you had made different choices? Because I tend to daydream, (part of the hazard of writing!) I wonder this a lot.
Mostly I wonder about the bad choices I’ve made, but sometimes even just the ordinary choices become part of my game. For example, what would have happened if I hadn’t ended that friendship or didn’t say that one thing that keeps coming back to haunt me? What if I never married and instead moved to that sheep farm in Scotland I used to imagine myself living at? What if I hadn’t gotten divorced or remarried, or remarried again? What if I had girls instead of boys? What if I had been a teenager now instead of during the 70’s?
That’s a whole lot of “what if’s”. For the record, I don’t believe that living in the “what if’s” on a regular basis is in the least bit healthy. I believe its a kind of black hole that can suck me into it’s never-ending question asking. Living in the “what if’s” keeps me from focusing on the “right now”. I’m so busy squinting and trying to figure out each scenario for the “what if’s” that I can’t see the joy and beauty as I sit looking out my window at my garden “right now”.
The “what if’s” keep me from reveling in my grandbabies’ laughter or the crazy, creative new things my son’s and their wives are doing. They can drowned out the latest project Hub is working on and trying so patiently to explain to me. The “what if’s” keep me from enjoying every second I can get with my parents as we head out on our weekly field trips or the conversations I have with my sisters or nieces or best friends.
The “what if’s” can keep me from realizing what a wonderful life this really is. And no matter where I am today compared to where I thought I would be or where I’ll be tomorrow instead of what I had planned, it’s going to be wonderful. Because I choose to live my life with love, I get to watch as God rolls out the movie of my life and just enjoy the story. The details are what makes things interesting, but they aren’t the end all.
My life really is wonderful, even when I’m not feeling it as much. Like when there seems to be more bills than paychecks, or when my chronic pain knocks me down for the count for a few days. But those things are just the details and they can start to pull me back into the “what if’s” very quickly if I let them. But because I’m a child of God and I believe and know that He has my life 100% in His hand, I know that these things are just things. They won’t impact my eternity. Jesus already took care of that. He died to ensure my wonderful life would be spent with Him in heaven. So I can relax with the knowledge that this isn’t all there is.
My life didn’t turn out the way I had planned, but I still get to wake up every morning and watch the sun rise from it’s sleep. I don’t travel the world like I thought I would but I get to make multiple trips to Oklahoma to see my kids and grandbabies. And once in a while I even get a trip to Hawaii thrown in there too!
I don’t have the car or house or wardrobe most people pine for, but I have a bed and a roof and a jacket to keep me warm when it’s cold. I guess what I’m trying to say is, life isn’t wonderful because I’ve filled it with “things”….life is wonderful because I’ve filled it with Jesus!
So today, just like every day, I will look for all the ways that this really is a wonderful life and focus on what I have rather than what I don’t! I pray that God will open your eyes and allow you to do the same!
Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. You guard all that is mine. – Psalms 16:5
